Love's Derelictions
by Celestial Swordsman
Summary: Shining Armor confesses to Celestia that he might no longer be able to serve as Captain of the Guard, due to his unique marriage situation. Being in love can make one dreamy and distracted, but this is different. The love of your life doesn't usually hunt you. A light-hearted one-shot. For serious and deep stuff, try my other story. Cover art by the talented Conicer (devArt)


The Second Invasion

Princess Celestia sauntered through the halls of the royal palace. She took a sip of tea from the cup she levitated along with her. She sparkled a little brighter for having just raised the sun.

Her ears caught a voice saying, "Celestia, your majesty, I need to speak with you…" She stopped and looked around. She did not see anyone addressing her, and it seemed to be coming from the other hall. She waited a moment. There was a shout, a clang, and sounds of a struggle. The Princess put her tea down on a display beside a bust of Starswirl the Bearded, and stepped around the next corner.

Shining Armor approached her, levitating a blunt sword in front of him and panting. He eyed her with distrust, and summoned an extra glow to his horn. He hit her with a blast of magic. It didn't hurt her but it did raise her eyebrow.

He gulped. "Celestia, your majesty! My apologies!" He bowed low. "If you'll forgive me, there is a matter I should have discussed with you earlier."

She drew a deep breath and fell back into her relaxed state. "It's alright, Shining Armor. You know you can talk to me anytime. You may still be a guard but you're also part of the family now."

He sheathed the sword, despite resistance from the dings that had accumulated on its edge. "That's actually what I was gonna talk about." He looked down.

"Come along," she beckoned, and continued her stroll.

"I would be more comfortable to stay in one place…" Shining Armor worried, but followed after her.

"So what's bothering you?" she asked, in a soothing voice. "I do not believe there could be anything we could not work out."

He relaxed a bit in her presence, but still looked about. "You'd think! But I'm not sure. I'm so grateful for what you've done for me, but in my new situation, I—" His tone of voice lowered with regret. He had avoided saying so for months. "I have to confess that I don't think I can be Captain of the Guard any longer. Maybe not a guard at all."

For the first time showing a hint of real concern, she replied, "Hm. I did not expect to ever hear you say that. What could make you feel that way?"

A nervous smile teased at his face. "Well first of all, there's Cadence. She's just so beautiful and kind…. I'm in love and she kind of consumes my thoughts all day. It's hard to stop thinking about her. I've always been committed to my duties but now I'm watching the clock and waiting to go home."

Celestia's concern immediately vanished. "Well that's only normal. You're fine."

"But that's only half of it," he said, still insistent.

"Literally," she quipped.

"It's embarrassing… " He quickly corrected, "Don't bet me wrong, it's wonderful. At first I thought I could keep a handle on it but I don't know what I was thinking. Some of the other guards have found me—" he blushed, "—attacking or making out with pots and statuary on the palace grounds."

"I heard about that," she chuckled. "Did you get it right?"

"Sometimes."

Turning as he walked to show her the swords that hung on each side, he explained, "I have to carry a blunt sword as well as a sharp one. Apparently it makes it more fun if I'm armed. But when I'm patrolling I'm not sure I'm on the lookout for enemies any more. If I was really attacked, I'd probably draw the blunt sword out of habit!"

She mulled that thought over, and let him continue as they walked through the colorful beams that came through the stained glass.

"I know it's irresponsible to be doing this when I'm on duty. But she flirts with me like this all the time. You know I can't really control her, and I don't really try. Our relationship isn't like that exactly. And I'll admit that I do actually find it pretty fun. Sometimes wears me out, but it's worth it for me. But I should be doing this on my own time, not while securing the perimeter. And it doesn't stop there."

His blush deepened as he confessed further, "We've had sex quite a few times, during patrol and everything. I know the little hiding spots around the palace and after we've sparred a bit we're all turned on. Sometimes we don't even get hidden away."

Celestia stopped and turned to him. "I never heard about that. Are the others covering for you, or—"

"No, we've never been caught," he clarified. "Some of the guards have stumbled in on us a couple times, but they didn't see us."

"Wait what?" Celestia interjected. "You can do that?"

Exotic satisfaction mixed with the earnesty on his face. "Well, of course I can't, but when I'm holding onto her, she can hide me with her. I don't think a regular changeling could do that, but a changeling queen can. I just have to sort of… go along with it. I'm getting better at it."

"That's new," the alicorn admitted.

"Thank you again for showing us that the old law about polygamy was never actually repealed. Things in my love life became so much simpler when I could just accept that two amazing mares are in love with me."

Celestia informed, "Actually, it was Luna who remembered that, but she's sheepish about it, so she had me say it. After spending a thousand years out of the loop, she's an expert on the arcane."

He smiled and shook his head. "How did I ever get so lucky. But sometimes I feel like it doesn't leave room in my life for anything else. Cadence is the alicorn of romantic love, and as a queen, Chrysalis is in the prime of fertility for her kind. I'm happier than ever, but sometimes it's hard to keep up. I've taken steps to… boost my production. Of course the extra hormones don't help me keep my head while I'm patrolling. And they both want to have foals!"

"Oh dear. Well of course," she smiled, completely amused at the situation.

"Now you see why I don't think I can perform my duties as Captain of the Guard."

"Quite the contrary," she countered, and motioned, "come along."

He hesitated in surprise, and as he caught back up he asked, "What do you mean?"

They strode past two guards, who stood at attention as Celestia gestured to them. As soon as their Princess had passed, they resumed looking about. "I have NEVER seen the guards so alert," she pointed out. "In addition, the magic of love from Cadence has made your own magic more powerful. Don't think I haven't noticed. And you have never been more dedicated. You would fight harder than ever to defend the palace, to protect her."

"Yeah, I guess so," he agreed, but still uncertain. "But what about my derelictions?"

"You are the most alert of all," she praised. "You react to any threat almost within the second. I would say she's training you. And it would be unfair to put you through such a rigorous program without a strong incentive. Honestly I am very impressed with your stealth, that you are now making love undetected in the most secure site in Equestria!"

She had another serious thought. "What would you do if you were suddenly faced with a changeling?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't be so eager to kill them. Now I see them as real ponies, like they are, not like monsters. And now I believe that they can be allies."

"That's how you feel." She questioned again, "What would you actually do if one surprised you?"

He thought about it. "Well, I suppose, I would probably draw my blunt sword, knock them to the floor without hurting them, and," he laughed, "probably kiss 'em!"

"Naturally," she smiled. "But that's not bad. If you think about it, most of the threats that have faced our country have been defeated by friendship or love of some kind."

They stepped onto a balcony with a sweeping view of Canterlot and the mountains beyond. She continued to observe, "It's unlikely we will face a changeling threat again. You have defended us from them more surely than our entire security system ever could. Your marriage to her was the greatest increase to the safety of the kingdom since Luna returned to us. Diplomacy will prevent more wars than the sword can win."

"Your relationship and your children assure me that there will be greater understanding between our races." She mused with a clever smile, "As long as you are on duty, we can probably count that Chrysalis is guarding the castle as well!

The Princess looked him in the eye and said most sincerely, "Thank you, Shining Armor. I have never felt so safe."

"I'm honored," he could only reply, and after a moment he turned from her gaze to look out over the country he protected with a contented smile. A gust of wind blew his mane about, and a bell rang in the city below.

"I guess since you're wearing two swords, you've got four," the Princess commented offhand.

"Hm?" His focus returned to the balcony, as he suspected he misunderstood something.

"You're pretty well endowed," she continued. "It takes a lot of stallion to husband both of those ripe mares. And you're handsome, too, I can see why they chose you."

His blush returned fiercely, and he did not look at her. "I… uh—"

"It may seem foolish, but sometimes I wish things had happened differently, so I could have you," she cooed, and bent down to nuzzle his neck.

He froze. "But… whoah-uh…"

There was a roar and a flurry of motion. In a moment he was tackled to the ground, with teeth around his throat. Celestia was gone, and a menacing black form pinned him and warned him from resisting with a clicking growl.

Chrysalis released him and flashed a wide smile, still on top of him. His momentary shock gave way to annoyance. "You looked away from her, and the sounds gave us an opportunity. You should be more vigilant," she chided jokingly. "It was such a rush! You're giving me the best hunts I've ever had!" She drew her face nearer and said in a more tender tone, "Thank you." They kissed.

Celestia grinned without reservation, something she rarely used to do, as she peeked around the wall she had hidden behind. The house had never been so lively. The lovers kissed and licked and caressed, and rolled on the ground. With a flick of her tail, the Princess turned and walked away, humming as if she had seen nothing.


End file.
